Dreams

Have you ever had a dream that was so real that it lingers for awhile?  I have had a few, but two of the worst dreams I've had involved someone I love dearly dying.  Last night I had one of those dreams.  I don't remember the details clearly, but our oldest died and I was so overcome with grief that I woke up crying, my chest hurting so badly, it was as though my heart was breaking into a million pieces. 

After, I laid there praying.  Praying I never have to experience the loss of my child and feel the grief and sorrow that comes with that.  I don't know why I dreamt this, but that maybe someday I will have the opportunity to minister to someone in that spot.  Maybe it's so I will hold on to my boys when they love on me. 

There is a country song that talks about the different stages of life.  We are so badly yearning for the next phase, not taking the time to stop and really enjoy the moment we are in.  Have you heard this song?   Each time I hear it, I'm reminded to stop and just enjoy where I'm at.  For each phase of life goes by so quickly.  And LIFE gets in the way.  It's easy to just trudge through and not enjoy the tender moments that life is REALLY about.

My kids are growing up so fast.  We have an almost 14 year old, soon to be Freshman in High School.  He's becoming a man.  But even in that, when I tuck him in each night he clings to me.  Won't let me go.  Hold my hand (of course when no one is looking).   He still wants to cuddle with me.  I'm savoring each moment I have with him and my other two as well. 

This is him sitting between my legs on
the couch.  Something he does often.

I think that dream last night, renewed my love for my boys.  First thing I did this morning was gather them into my arms and tell them how much I loved them and how proud of them I am.  I don't feel that I can tell them enough. 

Thank you Lord for three of the greatest gifts you could have given me.  Help me to cherish my moments with them, good or bad, for soon they will be gone.  Help me to live in the moment and not look toward the future.  For now is where I need to be.  --- Amen.